So there's this guy...

Hello you,
My apologies for the absence of blog posts but I have an excuse I think you just might like. I've been spending my time with this guy. Like, all my time. 24/7 day and night. I'll take it back a little and fill you in on how it all began. I know you enjoy a good juicy story and there's not much better than a romance story.

Here we go. 

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The first time we met went like this.
A mis-matched purple and black BMW car pulls into my driveway where I'm standing and talking to my brother and his girlfriend. I skip toward the car and look ditzy with my blackest of fake tans.
"HARRROOO!!", I open the door and jump in. "Your tan looks fucking sexy!", my friend Ash screams from the passenger seat. "Is nottt bad", I slyly say while sliding across fancy leather seats. I was a little afraid of damaging the car.

The car pulls out onto the street and Ash cranks the tunes up. "Daaayum!", it was so much fun. The windows were down, our hair was messy and we were belting out 'I Just Had Sex'. We pick up the amigo Amy and she takes a look at me and laughs. "You're soo dark! You smell good too". "Really? Must be the coconut moisturizer", I sniffed my arm. "Yeah,  as soon as you got in I'd been wondering what smelt so good", Matthew said from in front of me.

So we hit the shops! It was about a week before Christmas and I had to find some game related posters for my younger brother Robert. While browsing and searching the shops, I was fairly excited. I hadn't been out with Amy and Ash in way too long so I was being my usual ridiculous self, much to their enjoyment.

 Once I finally hit the jackpot and found some violent shooting related posters, I lined up to buy them! Initially I lined up behind some people who were browsing, and blatantly said, "I'm in the wrong line aren't I. Damn", much to my friends' amusement. Second time lucky, I stood patiently in a long line just rocking back and ford on my feet. Matthew and the girls were looking at me and whispering and giggling. "What? Damn you!", cue weird looks from nearby people.

So I bought it and walked outside the shop beside them rejoicing, "Hooray! Christmas shopping complete. Cha-ching.". They all burst into laughter and held their sides. "What!? What did I say?". "Ha-ha, you looked like you were going to explode containing all your energy in that line. "We bet you were going to come out and say something stupid or jump around Ha-ha!". "Har-Har, very funny."

After a little more shopping and squealing, it was time to munch. Matthew offered to buy us all food much to Amy and my horror, but we refused. We sat and ate, talked, laughed.  Matthew compared me to Hammy from Over The Hedge.

Really? No! I'm already this lunatic too! Two of my teachers from high school came and confided in me saying, they were watching Finding Nemo with their children the night before and were like, GEMMA IS DORY. She makes weird sounds too. Why  : (

I'm starting to see a common theme emerging. They're both stupid!

The strangest thing about the entire shopping trip was, I felt very conscious of my own behavior. Normally I'll pout, throw my arms about and yell in public without a second thought. For some reason which truly made me very curious, I couldn't look Matthew in the eyes without feeling shy. I'd think about it and what it meant later, but it was time to go home. It had been a really fun shopping trip and we trekked back to the purple mo-bile and piled in. 

As we go to drive down the exit ramp, there's a horrific screeching sound from beneath. "Everyone out, we're islanded". "Say what?", us girls jump out and awkwardly stand in front of cars waiting

 behind us while Matthew revs the car and tries to get the wheels back on the ground! Eventually we got back in and went down a less sleep ramp and made jokes about us being too fat which made the car too low. The rest of the drive home, we sung with the windows down and I'd sneak looks at the rear view mirror to see if I could catch his eye.

After that night, (this detail is something him and I disagree on), we somehow got each other's numbers and I thanked him for driving us to the shops and for a fun night. Then I got a reply back.

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From this point, things get interesting.
We texted each other all the time. Quite literally my brother asked if it was a full time job talking to him. We played a question game, it's quite simple. You take turns asking questions and have to answer with honesty. We kept this up over a whole week. I learnt so much about his crazy crazy past and life now.

It got to a stage where we wanted to hang out. This was very confusing for me. Do I look nice, wear a dress and makeup? Is that giving the wrong signals? CRAP. These worries dissolved once I'd get into his car, play some music and talk. It's hard to believe but we spent about four days straight meeting at 10pm after I finished work and just cruising the streets talking until 2am. One night we parked outside my own home and tilted the seats back, opened the sunroof and looked at stars with our feet on the dashboard.

We begun a slushie tradition and  became regular late night customers of the NightOwl. He'd buy my brother  chocolates and we'd bring them home late late at night to find Rob still awake playing games. Of course he still tried to buy me things all the time and I'd always refuse which frustrated him beyond belief. It got to a point where we were living in each others pockets. We'd hang out at the shops on our days off and eat donuts, or go drive up the highest hills in Brisbane to admire the city view.

The line between friendship and something else was wavering but neither of us broke the peace we held. We'd watch a movie at my house and cuddle together until I fell asleep while he patted my hair. On one of my two hour breaks between work shifts he picked me up and took me to an ice cream shop. I knew things had be changing because I got really nervous and ended up asking his younger sister to come hang with us to ease the social tension. It felt like we were on a real date and she ended up not helping whatsoever, asking me sassy questions like, "Why were you in Matt's car? Hrmm?". Way too close to the truth missy. I spent Christmas Eve at their household and I even bought the girls and him Christmas presents while he got us rather drunk. We lay on a mattress after all the partying and simply said, "Question game. K go", and we continued our interrogation while his mother looked on curiously.

You may not understand this part, I still don't grasp the full impact of this, but when we cuddle together Matthew falls asleep. This is only significant because he had an accident and physically hasn't been able to sleep naturally due to lack of specific brain chemicals produced. So while he jumps up and down going, " I fell asleep!? HOW? What did you do!?" and searches me for secret sleep devices, I'm just like, " Urghhhhh shut up I'm tired." It is ridiculous and sounds like a cliche joke, but it's his reality. I still don't get it but eh.

So by now Christmas has passed and it's New Years Eve. I worked until 10pm so didn't feel like rocking over to any parties late and trying to catch up to how much everyone else had drunk. I opted for a simpler celebration of the year gone, so Matthew picked me up from work and we went to south bank. He was in his work suit so I felt the need to attempt to match his degree of fanciness and dolled up. We looked a little odd walking through groups of bogan derros in our classy attire but nothing could take away from my New Years Eve night. We ate pizza and ice cream and I saw the fireworks up close for the first time. It was really really nice. Scrap that, it was amazing. Haha.

Do you like him yet? He is far too generous and offered to drive Ash and I to the gold coast and back for our music festival Summerfieldayze.

I got a pair of jeans and destroyed them. Oh yeah! Free outfit. 

It was incredible and I had FUN. We stood at the front of that ungodly crowd for 6 hours or so. 

Anyway back to the good stuff. 

Once he'd met my parents on New Years Eve he wasn't too scared to come over to my house (pussy). I invite him over and what do you know? He's good at everything. It honestly destroys me that I can't beat him at things. He flogs my ass at pool (he used to play every week) and when I rattled through a list of skills, he could even knit and sew. I am a failure. 

In this way, he suits me well because he isn't afraid to pay me out brutally or make fun of me, and is a very good challenge for me to try and beat. 

Okay, okay now we're up to the good bit. You're wondering, 'Gemma, how are you two not a) Dating or b) All over each other getting steamy? Come on Gemma, we know what you're like!' 

I know! It was borderline many times, sitting on the bonnet of his car and he'd be standing nearby and all you're thinking about is, ' This is the part where we kiss....do we? Argh! Conflicted thoughts'.

So eventually, one night I was sleeping with him (yet again) cuddled up doing our thing. (secretly he only hangs out with me so he can get his beauty sleep). For some reason, I wanted to push a few boundaries. I played coy and was like, 'Mmm, I'm just not comfy enough over here. Why don't I lie directly on top of you. What a great idea!'. I pushed it a little further by having a tickle fight. The thing the tipped us over the edge though, was actually an accident believe it or not. After the tickle fight when I finished squirming and wriggling around in agony/ecstasy, my face ended up touching his and our mouths ungodly close together. We froze for a moment and I was like, "Uhoh, what have I done. I indirectly kissed him" and begun to move away and pretend nothing happened when he stopped me and kissed me back. 

Oh baby. The rest of the steamy details I shall keep to myself to save your computer screens from misting up. So there was no official, "Will you date me?", but we had been half-dating all those times we'd hung out and after our 'encounter' we were both like, "This shit is official!".

Sort of. We didn't make anything public for a couple of days because it was just that strange and new. It had been a while since we'd both dated and just using the words boyfriend and girlfriend was a challenge.

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Now we're dating, we're doing similar things but stuff is so much more exciting! I'm not sure why he's still around considering the number of embarrassing events that have occurred in his presence. We went to get a movie out and I walked up the stairs like, "These shoes feel a little uncomfortable", looked down and realized my thongs were on the wrong feet. Smoooooth.

Another failure: I was sitting on one of those weight workout benches in my backyard talking to him. I was getting into this great story and leaned forward onto the padded foot part. Turns out they ROLL, so I totally lost my balance and fell forward while the entire machine lifted and I fell on the floor like a massive massive failure. There was a moment of silence when he considered the consequences of him laughing, then he wet himself while I spent the rest of the night literally running away from him because I was so embarrassed.

On a lighter note, he's taking me out to a fancy dinner soon. Even though I told him I get my kicks out of eating Nando's with him and casual dinners. Considering that I had to go out and buy a fancy dress because I truly don't own anything worthy. So mum and I enjoyed a new experience, shopping in pricey dress shops! The things the shop lady threw at me to try on were a little confusing, so don't laugh too hard when I tell you I came out of the stall like, "This dress is REALLY tight on my ass", and she looked at me and said, "It's on backwards hun". DON'T LAUGH. The zip faces the front? What is this nonsense. Keep tuned for a picture of us two when he eventually takes me out next week. I'm so excited.

Something I found less exciting was our first fight the other night. He was desperate to see me angry and physically slapped me in the face to try and get me to hit him (Haha- fooled you didn't I!). So, I got into a singlet and shorts, padded up and we brawled in the backyard. He thoroughly beat me, it's quite embarrassing. The idiot rolled me onto the grass and I've been itchy for two full days since.

However, I can forgive him for all this, all the laughing at me, beating me at pool, ALL the horrible mean things he does to me. Do you know why? He bought a puppy.

I got to come with him on the trip and hold her (More like she sat on me - she's huge) for the trip home! She's 15 weeks old, weighs a tonne and is a pure white Alaskan Malamute. 

Meet Nanuk! It means Polar Bear, how fitting. She was pretty scared of all Matt's huskies at first.

But it's okay! She's getting  more playful and I got to take her on her first walk the other day. It was so much fun! She kept bumping into their biiiig dog like, "Play with me!". I may or may not have been tripped over by her and my own feet at one stage, and squealed a little when I thought I was going to face plant. 

Yet again, why is he still with me after all my nonsense!? 

Now you are truly and fully up to date with my romance life. Do you blame me for not posting for a while? I was getting up to all kinds of fun and things in life are looking really really good. Nothing beats having someone to cuddle and rely on. 

Until next time

Melanie xx